This morning I literally asked myself (outloud whilst making breakfast), 'What are you doing? This is blatantly ridiculous and a complete waste of everyone's time...' and I wasn't talking about the porridge, or even the experimental green flax seed bread. No. Breakfast I can do. I know all about breakfast and can happily rustle up a bowl full of something delicious without questioning my own competence on any level.
Nope, this was something more fundamental, closer to my heart and therefore felt so much more important. I was questioning my Purpose, and the work I'm here to do, especially in terms of taking it out into the world and connecting with others I know I can serve.
So when I heard myself say these things, I was interested. Aha! I observed myself for a moment, and it all became clear - I'd found an Edge.
It was a fine moment, because I do like a good Edge. Edges can be like fences that we've set up to keep the seemingly scary stuff out. They might make us feel safe for a while, but who knows what really lies beyond them and what other good stuff they might be keeping us from reaching?
As I stood there in the kitchen, berating myself and feeling like giving up, it was because I didn't know what was up ahead for me, or how I was going to get there, and this was really triggering some old stuff - around not feeling safe to share my creative work (and therefore my heart) with others - I had to tend to before I could move on.
Life has this beautiful Way of setting things up so when we reach one of own personal Edges, we feel it viscerally. It feels scary and uncomfortable in our bodies, because what lies ahead is Unknown, something new that hasn't existed for us before, and so our systems switch to high alert. The part of us that wants to protect us by staying inside the lines tries to hold us back - we question ourselves, try to convince ourselves that whatever we're doing that led us to this place really isn't worth pursuing.
When we reach an Edge and feel those Fears, it's really time to celebrate. We've found a breadcrumb on the path of our Life, perfectly placed to lead us to exactly where we need to be. We take a breath, relaxing our bodies and reassuring the frightened parts of us that we've got this now, and take a step beyond familiar territory, into the Unknown.
What lies out there? Who knows, but as I ate my porridge an email came through with the very words I needed to hear:
Nice. Onwards, friends!
What does your current Edge feel like? Share in the Comments, and if you need support we can cheer each other on! Join the Commit To Joy Tribe on FB HERE